Did your Christmas go with a bang?

What was is in your Christmas cracker, were you let down by the factory packer?
Did you hope for lots of sweets, chocolate or some naughty treats?
What about an “After Eight”, designed to make you put on weight,
liqueurs to swallow in a jiffy, too much of which would make you squiffy?
Were you just as pleased as some, when you received some bubble gum?
Did Christmas sound a rotten clang, when your cracker lost its bang?
 
Did the plastic spinner drop, shoot sideward from the table top?
Did your necklace made of beads fall to bits to join the weeds?
Did you find a dirty joke, making mother cough and choke?
Was your dinner incomplete, put you off the roasted meat,
with only veg your meal thinned, a likelihood of violent wind?
Did your cracker let you down, leave you with a festive frown?
 
What were the options I might ask, did something other meet the task?
A camp fire set upon the table, sober songs for those still able,
a grab for wine a decent swig, a dosie doe a dance to jig?
Did under table feet then tickle toes, secretly, so no-one knows,
did wind emerge as you downed your glass, did candles light your bottom gas?
On this Merry Christmas, before the year was new,
was the one thing crackers, really only YOU!