Song contest hopes

You may enjoy dancing around the maypole or scattering flowers this May, but the Eurovision Song contest is where it’s at! The excitement of throwing ourselves under a bus again to see if we come out the other side, is enthralling.  We know we can add to our five wins, even if the last were seventeen years ago, but how will the fact that we’re officially out of Europe help us? We may choose to forget the constant bickering with our ‘Euro friends’, as Boris puts it whilst his hair blows in the wind of the English Channel, but the beguiling question to leave us teetering on the edge of our sofa’s is… ‘Have they?” Will they blink as we shine a light, will they save all their kisses for us, will the boom bang a lang be something more than us hitting the foot of the points table? Now wait, all is not lost. I think I know how we can extract a win. As we all know from the past, should our talented performers whip off their skirts, then there’s a chance. If they then whip off their trousers, then the rest of their glittery costumes, well, we may well break the dark clouds of the losses we have become accustomed to!  I’ll be watching… hoping!